Many times we call our close ones emotionless freaks, hard-hearted and what not? In the spur of the moment the words just rattle out and even if damage is not done, because they are our near ones and they understand us well, it speaks so much about our emotions, or the lack of it!
I have noticed this many times, not just with people around me but also an experience I have myself had; when we do not get what we want, in terms of things much sought after, or the person you love the most, the emotional-self takes over the practical-self. What’s new or path-breaking one may wonder, but when you actually sit and think of it and maybe put it on paper, there is so much to it!
This holds good especially when it is to do with human sentiments. In economics, I have learnt this theory called ‘Theory of Second Best’ which I think holds well with respect to many things. If you don’t get a chocolate ice cream, you may settle for a strawberry, but when you don’t get the man or the woman of your choice, does the theory of second best work? Or to cite another example; if someone so valuable to us leaves this world, can we go looking for the second best?
Again there are the if’s and but’s. There are people who tide over heart breaks and disappointments of failure and move on very quickly, whereas many others, or if I may say so confidently, most of them find the world ending and worse even, end their own lives. Personally I find committing suicide a very cowardly act. But each to his own. ‘When one door closes, the other opens”, goes the saying. So why can’t we wait? When advising someone, or talking philosophy it is all easy to talk and the real experience hurts. But are we all not made up in such a way, that we mostly and many times actually moved one?
On a radio show yesterday, the RJs had a cake to give away to someone who wanted to break up or were going through one! They gave away ‘break-up’ tips, as to how to handle the shattering moment and so on. A failure or a break up being personal is a thing of the past now! Like your famous ‘Move on’ tagline for a watch company, it just seems all so easy!
All these random thoughts, with virtually no story line here, came to me when I read the essence of the Hindu’s holy book, Bhagatvatgeeta. It reads thus:
Why do you worry without cause? Whom do you fear without reason?
Who can kill you? The soul is neither born, nor does it die.
Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is happening, is happening for the good.
Whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only.
You need not have any regrets for the past. You need not worry for the future. The present is happening...right now.
What did you lose that you cry about? What did you bring with you, which you think you have lost? What did you produce, which you think got destroyed?
You did not bring anything - whatever you have, you received from here.
Whatever you have given, you have given only here. Whatever you took, you took from God.
Whatever you gave, you gave to Him. You came empty handed, you will leave empty handed.
What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow.
You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows.
"Whatever you took, you took from God. Whatever you gave, you gave to Him. You came with nothing, you will leave with nothing.
"Change is the law of the universe. What you think of as death, is indeed life.
In one instance you can be a millionaire, and in the other instance, you can be steeped in poverty.
Yours and mine, big and small - erase these ideas from your mind. Then everything is yours and you belong to everyone.
This body is not yours, neither are you of the body. The body is made of fire, water, air, earth and ether, and will disappear into these elements. But the soul is permanent - so who are you?
At first read, the trend is to say, “So true!” But how much of it is actually easy to follow is the question? I have had the opportunity of chanting this holy book and or rather learning to chant it from some really learned people and it takes a lot to interpret it each time and learn new values for life. The essence typed out above is I think a prized value for life to keep in mind if not for completely being able to follow it.
Whatever happens definitely happens for the good. At that moments of happening, we swear, cry and what not, but eventually somewhere down the lane, we are likely to accept it. “What did you lose that you cry about?” This one is tricky. Possessiveness is one quality we all have with respect to at least one person in life, be it mom, dad, sister, love whoever! So when we actually lose them, not in physical terms but otherwise too, it really is hard. And as much as strong we are, our possessiveness overrides it all.
The highlight of it all has to be, “What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow.”
If it is material object, it really does not matter. We all love change when it has something to do with material items. A newer version of Nokia’s touch screen phone, a better I-phone, more comfortable stilettos, a new shade of lip colour are all good enough and tolerable. My friend had it yesterday; I will have the same today!
But when you have to let go of that one person who is so precious to you and see him or her being someone else’s, even if he/her were going away for eternity, the pain is agonizing to say the least. And an answer to that is also ready: "Change is the law of the universe. What you think of as death, is indeed life."
