Precisely at 3:30 every evening, when I step into my home, I find my mother’s warm, welcoming smile greeting me. The following cup of coffee, the snacks she makes and her patient listening is all a child requires. At precisely the same 3.30 in the evening, when the door is locked and I have to unlock it and make myself a cup of coffee, the steam does not come from the coffee but my ears! Anger, irritation and all the other negative emotions take over the system.
“Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own”, said Aristotle. Ignoring the pun, one sure knows what value our mothers hold.
Even if we belong to the middle-aged group, our mothers will be the same and I am sure we hear the common dialogue from them, “You are my baby even if you are this old!”
Our movies have portrayed the ‘mother sentiment’ countless times. Be it the ‘Mere paas maa hai’ dialogue or our Southern super star’s take on the importance of mothers in every opening song of his.
Forget those who deny their parents the basic love, but in general, most of us depend on our mothers for almost everything in life. When a single day without her can be so alarming, what if she leaves us for good?
Such is the looming fate, the unfortunate fate of a mother who nurtures her kids for 16 weeks in her womb with all the love and affection just as ours. But her life hangs on a wire and the possibility of she being able to see her kids grow is bleak. The mortality rate of her kids is also high; approximately 50% do not survive to reach two years. Even if they do manage to survive, her own likelihood of survival is weak.
The cause for her and her poor babies’ premature death- US! Yes, in a way, through illegal trade, as means of subsistence and many more reasons, we are contributing to the extinction of the beloved mother and her family; the family of tigers. Thanks to us, we have already contributed to the extinction of 3 of her relative species; The Bali, Caspian, and Javan tigers and the fourth, the South China tiger is on its way to becoming extinct.
What would a husband do without his mother and wife? What would children would without their mother? The same rule applies to them as well. We, as humans, have absolutely no rights to deprive them of their loved ones. One mother gone, the entire family loses its backbone. With no mothers, what will the males do? Where do the offspring come from?
Let’s give these babies the joy of having their mothers around. SAVE THE TIGERS!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Wedding Vows...
Love stories are not new to our country. Be it movies, TV serials, participants of a reality show falling in love, anything; cupid never fails to strike! On screen, in books; it seems very gay so much so that we’d cry if the ones in love do not have a happy ending! ‘They lived happily ever after’ is a mandatory climax!
However, when you go back in time, cupid has been successful, but fate intervened and had in store some very bad things. No, it is not just about Romeo-Juliet, but our very own Laila-Majnu, Devdas-Paro and so on have either met tragic deaths or succumbing to self-imposing death.
In India, the system of ‘love marriage’ did not exist at all till up to 2 decades maybe. Only actors and actresses could fall in love and get married. Otherwise there was no such concept at all. Reasons were plenty; women were never allowed to study. So where could men actually find their soul mate in someone? And most families preferred to find prospective grooms/brides within the family so that the ties in the family prolong. In the case of child marriages, if the boy was to die for some reason, the poor girl child was confined to her in-laws’ house for the rest of her life.
Reasons can be plenty, but when it comes to love marriage, the change from then and now can be attributed to women education. As mentioned earlier, women were not allowed to be sent to schools, or if they ever did go, not beyond class 10. Hence the concept was almost nil. Parents would find the entire process of groom/bride searching very exciting and innumerable ‘tables’ with the 9 planets’ standings would be exchanged and matched. Unfortunately, the people in question had to make do with mere looks, sometimes at the time of the marriage even! Some even today stand by this tradition, calling it a system with lots of excitement in store!
Next came the trend of women being sent for higher education where interactions with the opposite sex began. What may have stated as something new, had turned into a daily affair now. Amidst the concept in question came platonic relationships, one night stands and what not? This reminds me of Chetan Bhagat’s latest read, “2 States: Story of my Marriage”, where, in four simple sentences, explains what love marriage is in India. It could not have been portrayed better.
“Boy loves Girl. Girl loves Boy.
Girl's family has to love boy. Boy's family has to love girl.
Girl's Family has to love Boy's Family. Boy's family has to love girl's family.
Girl and Boy still love each other. They get married.”
In general, the above still holds good today. Parents are open to their kids falling in love but with a lot of strings of course! For example, I knew of a household whose parents would advice their son that he was free to find his better half provided she came under the main umbrella of the caste! Ex: A Brahmin was mandatory; a Tamil or a Kannadiga didn’t matter!
This is not the end however! Trends are changing further! Just recently I overheard my mother and her friends chatting. One of them was in the process of groom searching and she was supposedly having a tough time. If the boy had looks, his income wasn’t enough and vice versa. Further, the girl was clear that will not be marrying if she was to live with her in laws, was not allowed to work and so on. The poor mother suffered from peer pressure, family pressure that she was not marrying off her daughter at the right time, pressure from her own daughter who had her own list of terms and conditions.
What she said at last surprised me instantly! “How I wish these girls just find their own men. These days they get mature so soon, I am sure they would not make the wrong choice when they have already made their conditions. It saves us all the trouble of having to find a groom, making sure his family is good and so on.”
Though what the mother said is not applicable to many families in the country, the trend is surely changing. More and more parents are now open and are ready to take a chance of letting their kids choose their partners. In the world of live-ins and homosexuality, those who choose to be straight and make plans of living with the opposite sex, marriage options are surely becoming broader in our country!
However, when you go back in time, cupid has been successful, but fate intervened and had in store some very bad things. No, it is not just about Romeo-Juliet, but our very own Laila-Majnu, Devdas-Paro and so on have either met tragic deaths or succumbing to self-imposing death.
In India, the system of ‘love marriage’ did not exist at all till up to 2 decades maybe. Only actors and actresses could fall in love and get married. Otherwise there was no such concept at all. Reasons were plenty; women were never allowed to study. So where could men actually find their soul mate in someone? And most families preferred to find prospective grooms/brides within the family so that the ties in the family prolong. In the case of child marriages, if the boy was to die for some reason, the poor girl child was confined to her in-laws’ house for the rest of her life.
Reasons can be plenty, but when it comes to love marriage, the change from then and now can be attributed to women education. As mentioned earlier, women were not allowed to be sent to schools, or if they ever did go, not beyond class 10. Hence the concept was almost nil. Parents would find the entire process of groom/bride searching very exciting and innumerable ‘tables’ with the 9 planets’ standings would be exchanged and matched. Unfortunately, the people in question had to make do with mere looks, sometimes at the time of the marriage even! Some even today stand by this tradition, calling it a system with lots of excitement in store!
Next came the trend of women being sent for higher education where interactions with the opposite sex began. What may have stated as something new, had turned into a daily affair now. Amidst the concept in question came platonic relationships, one night stands and what not? This reminds me of Chetan Bhagat’s latest read, “2 States: Story of my Marriage”, where, in four simple sentences, explains what love marriage is in India. It could not have been portrayed better.
“Boy loves Girl. Girl loves Boy.
Girl's family has to love boy. Boy's family has to love girl.
Girl's Family has to love Boy's Family. Boy's family has to love girl's family.
Girl and Boy still love each other. They get married.”
In general, the above still holds good today. Parents are open to their kids falling in love but with a lot of strings of course! For example, I knew of a household whose parents would advice their son that he was free to find his better half provided she came under the main umbrella of the caste! Ex: A Brahmin was mandatory; a Tamil or a Kannadiga didn’t matter!
This is not the end however! Trends are changing further! Just recently I overheard my mother and her friends chatting. One of them was in the process of groom searching and she was supposedly having a tough time. If the boy had looks, his income wasn’t enough and vice versa. Further, the girl was clear that will not be marrying if she was to live with her in laws, was not allowed to work and so on. The poor mother suffered from peer pressure, family pressure that she was not marrying off her daughter at the right time, pressure from her own daughter who had her own list of terms and conditions.
What she said at last surprised me instantly! “How I wish these girls just find their own men. These days they get mature so soon, I am sure they would not make the wrong choice when they have already made their conditions. It saves us all the trouble of having to find a groom, making sure his family is good and so on.”
Though what the mother said is not applicable to many families in the country, the trend is surely changing. More and more parents are now open and are ready to take a chance of letting their kids choose their partners. In the world of live-ins and homosexuality, those who choose to be straight and make plans of living with the opposite sex, marriage options are surely becoming broader in our country!
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