She/he walked towards my auto-rickshaw and I freaked out! My hair was tussled and she/he extended her/his hand for money. My mother nudged me to give the money and I obliged. As I put the coin in his/her hands, the hand went towards my mom and touched her head this time and out came the words, "May you be blessed with good health."
I smiled at my mother. Was it the relief that she/he left or that the blessings suited my mom best? I couldn’t tell. I only knew that I always despised this clan and swore to myself that I’d write an article opposed to such behaviour. I never did so, but a program I saw a couple of days ago summoned me to write this piece but with a changed view!
This set of people, call them eunuchs, transgender or anything you please are always associated to being those who harass us, men especially, for money and are also known to be sex objects. I believed this to be true, still do. The number of times I have seen them place their hands on unmentionable places of embarrassed men just for those notes, makes me puke! I still remember grimacing when I was filling out an application form in a prestigious college in Chennai when the ‘gender’ column had space for transgenders too.
But the grimace has now changed into a sense of empathy, not entirely, but to some extent. Those grotesque visuals of the weirdly dressed, harassing men are not helping much to convert myself to being empathetic entirely!
There was this show on Travel and Living which showcased the lives of this group in Bangalore, about how they got into such groups, thrown out by their families and what they do for a living. I was astounded by the fact that they were well-educated men, who wanted to consider themselves women. One such was ‘Radhika’, name obviously changed! She came from an affluent family, did the usual ‘boy’ stuff, playing cricket, eyeing girls et all. But the dominance of feminine feelings took over and no surprises, he was kicked out from the family! The metamorphosis is striking! Nose ring, waxing, long hair – no traces of being a man at all, except for the voice!
Most of them come into the eunuch groups with a similar story. One even had ‘his’ mother come over every month just to pay a visit to her once ‘son’! The mother laments that she cannot take her child back in any form considering the society and her own husband. While on the other hand, the converted openly revere Elton John and the like for being a self-acclaimed homosexual.
What made my heart melt was the process of castration. Each of them gave their gory version of it – Before even having the castration, they had to spend a whole year massaging lorry drivers’ body, bathe them, and sexually satisfy them. Only if they managed to endure this period, would the castration take place. And when it does, it is not a very pleasant experience for them. One, they are happy that they will do away with their masculine qualities but the process is arduous.
In a dimly lit room, steel beds await them. They are fully aware that the place is unhygienic, but do they have a choice? They are castrated in a hurry and it is disheartening to hear what they go through. Their choice you may say. True. But it does hurt. Period. Not everyone can afford sex-changing operations and they make do with what ever available. One even complained that it took 8 months to heal but that was no excuse for all the sexual acts they went through.
Now, I actually believe that the college in Chennai did a commendable job by having reserved some seats for them too. I don’t think it will hurt them or us, if they are given some respect in the society. Why would one agree to live the life of a prostitute if something better was in store? One of them said she was ready to sweep the streets everyday, if only she got the job. I know your hair stands up every time they approach you to grab all we have but I don’t think they’d want to do it either.
When I was casually mentioning this, my friend shot back saying some men, just to make quick money, would wax their bodies, drape a saree and go around carrying out this heinous act! I almost fell off my seat. How could people even think of this?? This will all stop when:
• We show this group some respect and accept that this is their way of life
• Give them a chance to work amidst us
• Yes, there are loopholes everywhere, no one is perfect, but if one lives life with dignity, the rest are bound to follow
I’d like to end by mentioning one such eunuch, Rose. She is featured on a Tamil channel, where she talks to those distressed, has talks on general issues and the like. I must tell you, she emanates a lot of knowledge. My friend even had a personal chat with her and she cleared my doubts. She was a woman with a lot of conviction and passion. Such people are to be looked up to whatever their gender maybe!
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