FA (R) TTY ISSUES!

First of all, why is this named fa®tty issues? Don’t ask me; actually I may be able to provide an answer! Oh wait! Before I state the reason, let me introduce to you the characters of this…well…3 day drama?!

1. The Silent Killer (SK) - Rags
2. Behka effect (BE) - PP
3. Adiye Kolludhe(AK) [Can be renamed as AK-47 for reasons only Rags, PP and I will know ;) – Rohit
4. KC! (Me)

So, yes, coming to why the headline? It all began in the wee hours at an underground cottage in Ooty! The sizzling incidents there, which are unmentionable on paper, brought me to this headline! Rags and PP, are you reading this? Can the reason ever be out in public? Ill be gunned down for sure :)

By the time I got off the local BMTC bus, my back was a wreck with one’s hand constantly on her cell phone’s keys, thereby her elbows nudging me, not to mention her piercing ‘give me space’ looks, and the other lady happily transferring all her body mass onto me like I was her pillow! Whew! How I was just waiting to see the big building nestling AXA and much to the anger of the traffic police, I jumped off as the signal turned green and oblivious to the innumerable honks.

AK-47 greets me after making me wait for ten minutes (It’s funny that women have begun waiting for men to arrive on time!!). The other two were comfortable in the car and man! I must say, it was nice to be greeted by the familiar faces again: BE, with his ever-sheepish grin and SK, with his silence!

My stomach was grumbling non-stop and so was I, to stop somewhere for a meal. After out tummies were duly fed, we set out for the long journey ahead. “Three choices”, said AK-47:

1. Ooty – Coimbatore – Palghat
2. Guruvayur – Palghat
3. I can’t remember??!!

We decided on the first choice. We women never agree upon this, but I must confess. Travelling with men is so much easier and convenient. There are no complaints of pain in the abdomen, head et all. No squabbles and petty arguments and men generally tend to forget arguments soon. So here I was, amidst three ‘well-behaved’ men who chose to change clothes in the middle of the road and attend to nature’s call wherever they chose to!!!

Now, mention must be made of a serious issue. The recent toll rates issue really caught our attention after what we went through at various junctions. It really ticked us off. On our way to Ooty, we had to drive via Bandipur and were rightfully stopped at a check post. We were asked to pay a meagre amount of 20/- which we obliged. However, we would have hardly driven 100 yards and we were stopped again. This time AK flared and we weren’t sure which one was the government owned. We were again asked to part away with money and no receipt was issued. This, I am writing amidst some this fun blog so that people are aware of they are being subjected to and with citizens and youth leading from the front against corruption, it might help!

The night drive via Bandipur was a rendezvous with the wild, literally. We bumped into wild elephants feeding themselves and man! Truly majestic! Reminds me of my previous trip there where I ended up thinking a clay elephant was the real one! But then, this time it was for real! It’s hard to explain everything in detail but then I’m just trying to talk of the important things, like a memoir so to say.

I wanted to go to the Mysore road Coffee Day and my wish was fulfilled, nothing very impressive but nevertheless I went! In between all this Rags and I were put through some 'gruelling activity'. PP and Ro wanted some personal space and one takes the wheel and the other sits right behind to ‘motivate’ the other!

Ooty invited us with its 7 something degrees at 4 in the morning! To get a roof over our heads, what stories were invited?!! One was termed a couple and the other two, students! While, here I am - THE REAL STUDENT! But we managed to get a lovely cottage and some sound sleep, ie, snoring from I don’t know which guy?!!

Ooty, known for its many suicide points and brilliant views, we chose to drive some place nearby and had a whale of a time the following morning. My first experience in Ooty as a child was miserable but thanks to the guys, my second trip was utterly lovely :)The butterscotch chocolates, hot chocolate tea was all too nice to describe on paper.

Our next point was Coimbatore. It was a sort of nostalgia for AK-47 as he took us through the roads of the small city, showing us his school, the place where he met his first love, his hangouts and others. We were treated to some amazing food, courtesy ‘Annapoorna Hotel’. Filter Kaapi and Nai (Ghee) Dosa was at its best. South Indian food is such a delicacy I must say!

Our final destination was Palghat and two men, BE and AK-47 were over joyous when they stepped foot in their ‘God’s own country’! The language was flowing after this and SK and I were left at their mercy. Of course! I would never miss an opportunity to belt my amateur Mallu to passers-by asking for directions, much to the chagrin of Ro and Peeps :) My only disappointment was that there was no place with water where I could relax! Kerala has always been a picture of backwaters, coconut trees, long haired gals with the smell of coconut oil and men, with their knee-length lungis!!! I was witness to everything other than the backwaters! Hehe! Palghat is a warm place and can get real hot later in the evening. The temples are real traditional like any other but one thing which stood apart was the playing of the ‘Chande’, a lovely percussion instrument of Kerala. The vibrations it created had a pleasing effect on me.

Satish’s wedding was my first experience with a Mallu style wedding. I have always been witness to an elaborate Brahmin wedding which quite frankly takes forever to finish. Getting up before the sun rises, watching the ladies clad themselves in a 9 yard saree, the innumerable ‘namaskarams’ (falling at one’s feet) by the bride, change of sarees, sitting on the swing with mom and mom-in-law throwing down cooked rice in turmeric and kumkum, the groom getting his last chance to run away in the form a ‘Kashi Yatra’ and finally sitting on your father’s lap while the groom stands and ties the mangal sutra is an extensive affair indeed. The rituals which follow there after is another paragraph long!

A Mallu style wedding is over in no time! Garlands of Tulsi exchanged in front of Lord Krishna early in the morning, by early I mean not before sunlight but a convenient 6am something. This is followed by a very casual meeting in the wedding hall, when it’s almost time for lunch! Ten minute formalities and you’re hooked for life! Yum food filled our tired and hungry stomachs and we were ready to set back to our good old city.

I will not be giving this blog a fitting conclusion if I don’t mention the lovely roads connecting Ooty, Coimbatore and Palghat. Not once did we have a hitch of a break down other than the irritating experience of the pay roll incident. PP got some lovely music and Ghus-Ghus, our beloved car did not let us down at all. All in all, a memorable trip and also a trip, which brought me closer to the guys!

As I conclude, my next blog should be one on men’s psyche from a woman’s perspective :)